Saturday, October 1, 2016

Home is Where the Yoga Is

Home is where the yoga is...

I stumbled across that quote the other day as I was scrolling through my Instagram feed. I can't remember who shared it. I can't remember the picture it was posted with. I just remember the feeling I got when I read it.

Moving is part of my DNA. I don't think I've ever actually lived in one place for four years. I've lived in a row house with barely a blade of grass to play in, a house in rural PA with a few acres of land, tiny apartments, bitty dorm rooms, a hostel in Russia, and a house by a lake.

In the past year, I've moved twice and there are already plans to move again in a few months. It's never boring, not when me and my mom are concerned.

We've definitely got some gypsy blood in our veins.

All of my stuff is put away. Everything is clean and neat...not exactly lived in, but organized as things always are at the beginning of a new adventure. Maybe it'll stay that way or maybe I'll stop caring in a few weeks and it'll look like a hurricane blew through the house. Either way, it's mine, for now. My space. My stuff. My life.

But, even though I know where everything is and I love my new Zootopia bedspread, something just feels off.

Home is where the yoga is...

Confession time. I haven't practiced in months. I actually haven't had a consistent, regular, daily practice since my teacher training...almost exactly a year ago. I got busy. Life happened. Sh*t hit the fan. Things changed. Plans died. I gave up on my practice probably at the time when I needed it the most.

I've unrolled my mat a few times. I found a routine by Meghan Currie that really speaks to my soul and my go-to video remains to be Tara Stile's Energize class. A bunch of times, I didn't bother with the mat at all and just stretched out on the carpet after I went on a run. Informal. Lazy. Nothing at all what my old practice used to look like.

But, that's okay. Practices change. We evolve. We grow. And sometimes we just need to turn everything off before we can restart. That means letting go of our expectations, releasing the guilt, and totally forgetting any goals we'd been holding onto before.

I'm ready to turn back on again, like a computer that's just gone through all it's updates. Sure, I didn't physically practice asanas in months, but not all yoga happens on the mat. That's what we learn in the Ashtanga yoga method, anyway.

My year was full of ups and downs. Trips to Disney World. Losing someone who was far too young.

I've walked through this year feeling weighed down and alone, not sure where I was supposed to be going but not feeling able to stop and ask for directions. I just kept putting one foot in front of another, sometimes walking circles around myself and getting lost.

But, the light never leaves us, so long as we keep searching for it.

Life is a crazy ride. It never stands still or gives us time to catch our breath. We either enter it armed or surrender immediately. My mat is my battlefield. My mantra is my war cry. My sweat is my victory. And my stumbles...well they are all part of the glorious dance that is life...because yesterday doesn't matter. That I haven't practiced seriously in a year doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm here. I'm trying.

And when we know that, that's when we're really home. Home is not a place. It's not a building. It's not a room or a physical space. It's the practice of showing up, for yourself, for your path, for your love, for your very life.

My name is Stacy Porter and I am a yogi.

Welcome to my online mat! Here there be dragons...or, ya know, yoga... But magic happens on the mat and I've always wondered how seriously we're supposed to take that whole "breath of fire" thing maybe one day there will be dragons *wink*

P.S. be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel so you don't miss anything! Meditations on Mondays, Q&As on Wednesdays, and Yoga Flows on Fridays!